Personal Development

Category Archives — Personal Development

How to Reconnect With Yourself If You’re Feeling Mentally & Emotionally Drained

Are you often feeling overwhelmed, stressed or disconnected with yourself? Our busy lifestyle and modern challenges can often leave us mentally and emotionally drained, losing a sense of our authentic self in the process. My guest Gail has a masters in social work with honors and is an advocate for holistic approaches to wellbeing.

She has over 15 years experience in working with people who are striving to create wholeness in their lives. In this episode she draws on her wisdom as a mother, wife, educator & holistic health practitioner. Gail shares her insights into how aromatherapy can support mental and emotional wellbeing.

Listen in to learn how she supports others to feel connected, reach a higher level of awareness and thrive in their unique self.

I’d love to know what was the major takeaway from Gail’s insights? And a follow up questions is what will do differently to improve your mental and emotional wellbeing?

Please leave your comments below!

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To connect with Gail Watene:

FB: @essentialwellbeingwithgailwatene

WWW: https://www.mydoterra.com/gailwatene/#/

EM: essentialwellbeingnz@gmail.com

How to Deal with Your Inner “Becky” w/ Tiffany Matthews

“Becky” has been causing a lot of trouble in Tiffany’s world. Becky is the name my guest Tiffany Matthews (@healthywealthywonderful) has given to her inner-critic. Whenever we’re striving to achieve our goals, Becky will try and stop you from making it happen. If you’re struggling to get Becky to shut up, then this episode is for you!

I had the great privilege of speaking to entrepreneur and health coach Tiffany Matthews. We spoke of a number of different topics and these are the top 3 that stood out for me (to get the details, you’ll have to listen to the podcast, which you can download the app on your phone or subscribe via iTunes if you want to listen on the go).

Is Your Plate Too Full?

Tiffany’s personal experience of doing too much captures similar feelings for most individuals. She said to me “the more I pile on my plate, the less space I have.” That simple description enlightened me. Think of the difference between a quality restaraunt and you local smorgasbord/takeaway. It’s quality vs. quantity. The more you do the less quality you can give, the more you wear yourself out and end up stressed and sick.

Tiffany’s solution is to set your important priorities and match incoming request to these priorities. Learning to say no is one of the most important things you can do. Saying no doesn’t make you less of a person. Set your 3 important tasks for the day and anything you get done after that is a bonus.

Who is Becky?

Becky is the label/name Tiffany has given to her inner-critic. We all have an inner-critic that loves to tell us all the reasons why we can’t do something. Tiffany noticed the pattern that people say they can’t do X because they’re Y. An example was a mum who wants to play at the beach in her togs with her kids, but can’t because she’s not at her ideal weight yet.

An actionable solution is an affirmation that mixes both a postive statement and a current “flaw”. “I am a succesful entrepreneur and I have a messy car.” Too me, it allows you to confirm that you are a success and it’s okay that you might have a thing that makes you uncomfortable going on at the same time. It shows optimism and vision with it being a mere fantasy that you’re completely perfect and that success equals zero flaws.

Going on an Information Detox

The last insight that was expressed was unfollowing anyone or anything that triggers your inner-critic. This is especially true if you’re striving to achieve a physique that you’d feel confident in. Following people or channels that make you feel insecure, doubtful and negative will only feed your inner-critic. The best detox is freeing yourself from those kinds of toxins.

 

What insights stood out to you in this week’s episode? I’d love to know so please leave a comment. You can connect with Tiffany on Instagram and Facebook with the handle @healthywealthywonderful and gain more insights into becoming the best version of YOU you can become.

 

The Mindset You Need to Change Your Body w/ Alee Baytan

If you’re trying to figure out how to stop comparing yourself to others during your weight loss journey and stay focused, this post is for you.

I had the priviledge of interviewing Entreprenuer, Beachbody Master Trainer, Social Media Dynamite, Mother of 2 (currently 31 weeks with her second child), Alee Baytan (@domoredaily). She’s been through the challenges that come from dealing with her body image in a fitness environment.

She shares how personal development is the key to her transformation. Reading or listening to people who kept her focused on her goals, changed the way she thought about her limiting beliefs and pushed her to grow was the difference between success and failure.

Alee share a lot of insights like “every woman should embrace their OWN journey”, celebrating all the small victories through to her mental preparation to keep the focus on what she needs to stay on track. I love two of her instagram post and had a chance to have her explain it in more detail. “Stop fighting yourself and start fighting for yourself” and “We won’t be distracted by comparison if we’re captivated by purpose”.

I’m not going to giveaway all of what she’s shared, listen/download the podcast and listen. I’d love to know what stood out to you during my interview with Alee? Share your thoughts below in the comment section.

Have a great day!

Aaron.

5 Major Questions That Can Change Your Life Now!


Is life taking a funny turn and you feel you’re on the wrong path? Or do you wake up one day and wonder how did I get here? These 5 questions will help you get back on track!

Life can really take us on a ride. Well, I suppose we often choose the paths that lead us towards things we want or don’t want in life. However, most daily decisions are small and may seem insignificant. The thing to consider is that small decisions can compound and without realising it, you could be stranded on a road that’s not where you want to be.

These turn off’s apply to every aspect of our life and these 5 questions can help you get those areas back in alignment again.

1. What will I embrace?

We’re constantly surrounded by information that is indirectly and directly influencing our thoughts, beliefs and behaviours. From the amount of time you spend on social media, the friends you associate with, to the music you listen to, it will have a positive or negative influence on the way you live your life.

This question will help you consider what kind of influence and information do you want to absorb and surround yourself with? Is it uplifting, inspiring, wholesome or negative, destructive, cynical? It’s a great question to ask because it can help you assess whether you have any influences that need to get in or out of your life.

2. What will I believe?

As you know, our beliefs drive our actions. If the results your experiencing of late aren’t what you want, there will be a created belief that’s driving that outcome. This questions is your opportunity to define what it is that you what to happen so you can focus your energies into making it into a belief.

3. What will I say?

Self-talk has a major effect on what we believe, how we view ourselves and our life experience. Do you catch yourself saying negative things about yourself? If you drop something, have you said out loud “Stupid idiot!”? We’ve all done it from time to time. The more we speak in that manner about ourselves, the more we make it come true. This question will help you consider if the way you speak to yourself or to others is how you wish to be remembered, treated and influenced.

4. What will I let go?

We all have events in our lives or habits that are holding us back from really experiencing joy and happiness. Yet, we tend to hold on to these experiences and drag it where ever we go. As difficult as it maybe, to let go of things that keep you unhappy shows that you’re no longer give that experience permission to exercise power over you. Your ability to let go shows strength in your character and you’re retaking that power back.

Whatever needs to change, let go, forgive or made amends to anything that weighs you down is worth the effort to secure a future of freedom and joy.

5. What will be my intention?

Our actions are driving by the power of our intention. Have you ever met someone who acts like you’re friends but you tell it’s all fake? The intention behind the behaviours gives it away right? However, when we do things in life, what power drives it? Love or hate? Fear or courage? Excitement or boredom? Each positive or negative intention will influence the outcome of your actions.

If you’re dieting out of fear or shame, how long do you think that’s going to last? If it’s driven because you love how you feel inside or you enjoy the extra energy, health benefits etc. You’ll stick to it for a longer period of time and hopefully for the rest of your life.

Conclusion

These questions are designed to help you assess where you are, where you want to go, and what you can change to head in the right direction. It’s a great self-assessment tool in moments of reflection to make sure you’re happy with the path you’re on. My recommendation is to answer these questions with compassion and patience. It’s not scolding session, it’s an insightful and revelatory experience. By asking the right questions, you’ll receive the right answers.

Question: Which question stood out to you and what was the first answer that came to you? Leave your comments below or email aaron@aaronosman.com 

[Video] How Body Image is Directly Linked to Your Thoughts

Have you wondered how you ended up liking or disliking the way your body looks?

I had the privilege of speaking at Trustpower about the root cause of how people end up with a negative view of their body.

I share my Personal Creation Sequence (not labelled at the time) that demonstrates how the view of our body and physical appearance is a direct link to our thoughts. What we absorb as information among other things on a daily basis starts the process of it becoming a reality.

By understanding what drives your current behavior around your body and health journey will allow you to change it in the direction you want to go.

I will explain more in the video. A big thank you to Trustpower for allowing me to share this portion of the presentation.

What You Can Do When Life is Suffocating Your Happiness

If you’re having one of those moments where you feel the life is suffocating the happiness out of you, then you’ve come to the right place!

I had a conversation with a friend who expressed how stressed out life has been and sadly how changing it wasn’t an option. I shared from personal experience 3 principles, that helped me break free from my own personal dungeon. Without putting everything into context, I’m going to jump straight into it.

1. Get the Stress Out of Your Head

I asked my friend to try this simple exercise. Get a sheet of paper and draw a line in the middle of it. Write on the left column My problem(s), and on the right Possible Solutions. List what is going on in your life that is causing you to feel stressed or perplexed. On the right side consider any and all possible solutions that you can do to resolve the issue.

I wish to point out is that it doesn’t really matter what those answers are. They can be distant answers, as in, you’ll need to take multiple steps to get to that point or they could be, small answers like talk to person who bothers me at work. The process of it will help you shift your thinking from dwelling in stress to resolving it. When you’ve got your possible solutions down on your paper, do the next step.

2. Decide and Act

The key to exiting the suffocation of life is making decisions and acting. Nothing changes unless you change, and change doesn’t happen unless you decide to do something and follow through. The reason why I have you write down possible solutions is so you can decide to act. As you take small steps on a consistent basis, the more momentum you will gain.

Second, is that your consistent action will either attract opportunities to secure your desired outcome or through your action, you will create opportunities. The reason why decision-making and action is the key, is because we will spend all our energy thinking, reliving, expanding our stress in our head, never actually doing anything about it, just torturing ourselves with it. Action releases the choke hold that engulfed stress grasps.

3. Respect the Law of Gestation

What in the doo-dacky is that? Everything has a divine time appointed for its overall development. Trees, fruit, vegetables etc each have their own time frame for growth and outcome. You can’t mess with it. Yes you can add special sauce to the soil and provide the optimal environment. It will help a little but not remove that divine time line.

My point? Change takes time, results take time. You can’t plant a seed in the ground and rip it out one week later demanding fruit! I urge you to remove your timetable from the natural course of things. It will only make you frustrated. Keep moving and doing what you can to cause change to take place and in due time, you will see the fruit of your work.

Believe that you can change and that life can change for you. You are more than capable of beating life’s challenges.

I love to you what you think, please leave a comment below and share what decisions you’re going to make to change your life for the better.

 

Thinking About Your Body in a Certain Way

This morning I was pondering over a recent conversation I had. In my head, I was trying to figure out how I could this individual switch their perspective on their experience.

I wasn’t trying to fix anything, just praying I could either help or that this person could in their own way, understand the power of intention in their journey.

I started thinking what separates a “successful” body over the “struggling” body? The major difference isn’t in what they do, it’s in how they think about what they do. Those who achieve success in slimming down, building muscle and all in between, do it by expecting change with no doubt whatsoever.

The next layer down is that they have a positive intention behind everything they do. Every action, session or meal is done with the feeling that this activity is leading them to victory. There’s no room for doubt, there’s no inconsistency. It’s absolute faith.

The final layer is built on love. They “successful” love the process, they love to eat, train and live the life that brings about the body they want. But they do it because they LOVE, not fear, hate or complain about the need to change their body.

Find ways to love the journey, the process and outcomes. Put into everything you do today the feelings, thoughts and intention of love and success. Over time you will see positive change.

What You Say Carries a lot of Weight

Have you ever stopped to consider how powerful your words are? More specifically, the words you use to describe yourself and your body?

“Words are seeds that do more than blow around. They land in our hearts and not the ground. Be careful what you plant and careful what you say. You might have to eat what you planted one day.” –Unknown.

In a recent seminar with a large organisation, I shared how our story shapes our beliefs and how our actions are driven by our beliefs. The example I used was a bad customer service experience. The event triggers a series of negative thoughts, and associated feelings. Together it forms a story.

Think back to the last bad customer service experience you had. Can you remember what happened and how you felt? Now when the name of that company comes up on an advert or in conversation, do you tell your story to whoever is listening? If the answer is yes! Did you tell that story over and over for awhile? [yes!] Then consider that every time you tell that story, you deepen that experience into your mind causing you to act on it, in this case never returning to that store again!

The same principles go for your body. What bad customer experience story are you telling yourself often about your body? “I’ll never lose the weight!”, “It’s too hard.” “I can’t say no” etc.

Our words are so powerful that we create stories that come true. In this podcast episode, I go into a lot more detail about how to change your story so you can change the ending from never ending to happily ever after.

It’s important for you to be aware of the story you’re telling yourself and choose to rewrite the story. And just like the bad customer experience, the more you tell yourself your new story with the same effort and positive feeling, the deeper you embed that story into your mind. But this time you’ll experience what you want, not the opposite.

Question: What negative story are you telling yourself and what will your new story be from now on? Comment below and don’t forget to share this post with your friends.

5 Reasons Why You’re Not Losing Weight

If you’re working hard at the gym and are disciplined with your food and still not seeing results, this episode is for you. There are 5 reasons that you may not have considered that is blocking your ability to lose weight.

It’s not just a matter of calories in, calories out, it’s a lot deeper than that. It’s certainly a frustrating and depressing experience to see the results not match the effort you feel you’re giving. I have found that there are a few things that might be causing your frustration.

  1. A lack of clarity.
  2. No framework or system that is repeatable, dependable, predictable.
  3. Limiting beliefs that pull you back from advancing forward.
  4. A lack of gratitude for the body you have.
  5. Stress.

All of the details for each reason is in this week’s podcast episode. I’ll share brief to the point summaries of each reason below.

A Lack of Clarity.

By defining what your overall objective is, you’re able better understand if the path you’re on is leading you towards or away from your objective. If you deciding to lose weight, what does that mean to you? How many kilos/pounds? What does that look like? How do you feel with that weight off? By asking a lot of questions you can start to form what you actually want rather than trying to succeed based on a generic wish. Specific is better than generic.

No RDP Framework.

Many fail to create a framework or system that they can follow to stay consistent. Inconsistent action produces inconsistent results. A framework allows you to have a plan you just follow that produces the results you want. It takes the guesswork out of your daily activities. How you start your day, what and when you eat and exercise etc. A system increases focus and prevents you from giving up.

Limiting Beliefs.

Your beliefs shape your behaviour. If you believe the fat won’t come off or that you can’t change, you will act accordingly and thus fulfil your belief. It pays to spend some quiet time and look at those beliefs that hold you back, and explore where it came from, how it started and why you keep it. A compassionate journey into the past can help you choose what you will rewrite going forward.

A Lack of Gratitude.

It’s easy to point out all of the physical faults and dislikes everytime you see yourself. The danger is that it focuses your attention on all that is “wrong” and that invites more of the same into your life. Gratitude changes a negative into a positive. The positive energy and focus allow you to change your body in the way you want. Gratitude will repeal dissatisfaction which is what you might be currently feeling.

Stress.

The number one reason you can’t lose weight is that you’re stressed… a lot. Stress releases cortisol which blocks fat from being metabolised. Stress shuts down your digestive and immune system, messes with your hormones and other areas that the body doesn’t need to survive the situation. Cortisol needs sugar to handle the threat, that invites insulin to convert excess sugar into fat, something you’re trying to avoid. The long you stay stressed the harder it will be to metabolise stored fat.

What reason resonates with you? I’d love to know what you’re struggling with so please comment below. If you have friends that are also struggling to lose weight no matter how hard they try, share this article with them. It might help.

How Gratitude Changes Your Body

*If you’re a poddy and want to listen to the podcast version, please click here.

Many people don’t realise the relationship between gratitude and your body image. If we were to take a snapshot of your thoughts and feelings about your body, is it negative or positive? I hope is positive but probably has a varying degree of negativity.

You may be looking in the mirror and nitpick at all of the “bad” things you see. Perhaps you complain about your belly fat as you hold it and jiggle it around. Maybe you just stare at yourself and struggle to see anything good, as if it doesn’t exist.

The law of gratitude is an absolute law that does four things:

  1. It attracts positive opportunities to achieve what you want.
  2. It keeps you from dissatisfaction.
  3. It brings into nearer to the source of creative power.
  4. Your mind will be fixed on what is good and what you fixate on, you become.

A person who develops the attitude of gratitude for the body they have will change the way they look at their body AND cease to look for faults (which is the attitude that keeps your body in its current state).

Wallace Wattles wrote a chapter about the power of gratitude and I want to share some of his words.

If it is a new thought to you that gratitude brings your whole mind into closer harmony with the creative energies of the universe, consider it well, and you will see that it is true. Gratitude will lead your mind out along the ways by which things come; and it will keep you in close harmony with creative thought and prevent you from falling into competitive thought.

There is a Law of Gratitude, and it is absolutely necessary that you should observe the law, if you are to get the results you seek.

The law of gratitude is the natural principle that action and reaction are always equal, and in opposite directions.

The grateful outreaching of your mind in thankful praise to the Supreme is a liberation or expenditure of force; it cannot fail to reach that to which it addressed, and the reaction is an instantaneous movement towards you.

And if your gratitude is strong and constant, the reaction in Formless Substance will be strong and continuous; the movement of the things you want will be always toward you. You cannot exercise much power without gratitude; for it is gratitude that keeps you connected with Power.

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But the value of gratitude does not consist solely in getting you more blessings in the future. Without gratitude you cannot long keep from dissatisfied thought regarding things as they are.

The moment you permit your mind to dwell with dissatisfaction upon things as they are, you begin to lose ground. You fix attention upon the common, the ordinary, the poor, and the squalid and mean; and your mind takes the form of these things. Then you will transmit these forms or mental images to the Formless, and the common, the poor, the squalid, and mean will come to you.

 If you want your body to change focus on expressing gratitude for the body you have now. Express heartfelt gratitude as you hold on to the vision of the body you want. As your gratitude is strong and consistent, you move faster towards your goal.

I’d love to know your thoughts, questions and comments. Please share them below or email me aaron@aaronosman.com

Don’t forget to sign up to my Body Confidence VIP Newsletter for exclusive content.

Aaron.